1. The dyslexic devil worshiper sold his soul to Santa.

2. My friend thinks he is smart. He told me an onion is the only food that makes you cry, so I threw a coconut at his face.

3. Teacher: “Kids,what does the chicken give you?”
Student: “Meat!”
Teacher: “Very good! Now what does the pig give you?”
Student: “Bacon!”
Teacher: “Great! And what does the fat cow give you?”
Student: “Homework!”

4.Two blondes fell down a hole. One said, “It’s dark in here isn’t it?” The other replied, “I don’t know; I can’t see.”

5. Can a kangaroo jump higher than the Empire State Building?
Of course. The Empire State Building can’t jump.